This story by NPR's Carrie Kahn appeared just a few days ago. She's reporting on a controversy that's still going, but with far less ferver than last year. Like all of the stories we'll hear, she leads with a scene, and gets the stakeholders involved from there. For comment: What's the theme of this piece?
The next story is one I promised you that I did for NPR. It's about a very local reaction to a controversy that's happening nationally. I did this before I read the Updike manifesto, but in going back to that early post, I realized that this is what I was trying to do:
"Writing, in a radio story, has to be tighter and simpler than print: the beginning should hook listeners fast and hard, the way a song does."
For comment: What's another possible scene I could have led with? Also, what do you think about the actualities? Do they "work" in helping to tell the story? One note here: this story was on a tight turnaround, so I have a census official on the phone, not in person...you've got to find ways to talk to your stakeholders in person. That, by nature, will make it a more "local" story.
Here's another story I did a few years ago...and we're back to immigration. (You must think that's all we cover!) Listen for how the argument is set up - we establish the theme early, by using a scene. We let the stakeholders themselves discuss the controversy. For comment: I think it's a good story...but not really very "compelling." How could it have been better?
18 comments:
I think the main theme of Kahn's piece is America.
It's about alienation from America, but also the hope of someday joining it. At the protest, it opened with the singing of the national anthem, the people were given American flags, and first sound bite we hear from the Congressman (in Spanish) is about the immigrants' plea to become part of the American dream.
On the other hand, Kahn notes that there were counterprotesters, those already part of the "American Dream" who were offended by last year's rally and came out to protest against this year's. It's still America, albeit a different side.
Woven into the piece is also the political side of America. There is a bill in place, but it needs to be decided upon by Congress. It's noted that there needs to be 1 in 4 Republicans in the House to pass the bill.
The aspect of protesting in general is uniquely American, too. There are not many countries who can openly protest governmental policies. Even though there were a significantly smaller amount of immigrants at this year's rally, there still came out to say "We're here and we're not going." Even though they aren't Americans, they've embraced this idea of free speech & assembly that is so closely associated to American values.
~Brianne
What's the theme? Loss of steam, I'd say. The story is quite topical though it reflects a great deal on what happened last year to compare the difference in "momentum". It's clear the immigration reform issue has calmed down from last year's feverish tempest. I think that point is central to the piece.
Jonathan Muss
The theme: the low turnout at the immigrant rallies as compared with last year. Is the immigrant debate only about Mexicans? I'm beginning to think that there are no other groups represented.
Jonathan Muss
For the story about some CT towns and their reactions to the new census and its impositions, it could have been led with a more descriptive picture of the city. Traffic is one thing but what about people? This is obviously a study in contrasts: urban vs. rural, birds chirping vs. car horns and crowds. The people, however, are the central issue- it is about their confusion over being lumped together in similar categories while living in much different areas. Then again, CT is one of the most densely populated states so is there really that much of a difference?
Regarding your Census piece, I thought the scenes you used were very good. I might have led with the tweeting birds of Northfield first and then your voice over saying "this pasture in bucolic Northfield is part of what the U.S. Census has recently classified as an 'urbanized' area".
I really liked Kahn's piece- especially the juxtaposition between the English and foregin words. The main theme is the between Americans and illegal immigrants. The immigrants want to be a true part of society, but the Americans feel like they will never quite fit in.
Can't find the link to the third story.
Kahn's piece lacks cohesiveness. I heard the story on Monday, I’ve listened to it twice now, and overall I think it lacks flow because there might be too much information. What I take away from it is that last year's march was huge and this year's was not. She provides important information but I really think that in some aspects it was too much for this story, given that this year's rally was drastically less attended.
I think another possible scene for the census story would be leading with the cows mooing and people chewing hay and introducing that actuality as one of CT's new urban areas.
Were you going to post a third link for the last comment or does that apply to the Kahn story?
The census story is great too. I liked the beginning because the sounds really illsutrated your words... like the beeping horn when you say the word "impatiently", and the sound of air when you say "from here to here".
I agree with Heather and Gunnar that it might have been good to open with a nature scene. Then you could have quickly cut to the sound of traffic to further illustrate the effects of urbanization on the small town of Northfield.
I think opening with the nature scene might be effective, because then it becomes more jarring to the reader to hear birds chirping to the horns honking. It jerks you out of that peaceful scenery and thrusts you into what sounds like chaos, and you can't help but ask yourself, wait a minute: how are birds the city (or something like that)?
I think the actualities are effective, especially from those who live in Northfield. IT would be interesting to hear a sound bite from a downtown Hartford resident, who may not even be aware about the Census change, and see if he/she even knows where Northfield is. I work in an admissions office for a college & have been doing a lot of college fairs lately in these rural CT towns, and I read their names and ask, "Where the hell are these towns?" I think maybe some other city people might have the same reaction.
~Brianne
I believe the main theme is: What is it going to take to become citizens around here? Immigrants are desperate to be considered legal contributers and partakers in the American experience. Seems they'd do just about anything.
The combination of our anthem and the Spanish soundbite on their desire to live out the American dream was pretty powerful.
Secondary to this is: Here's what immigrants are up against - good luck.
An alternative scene for the census story would be flip flopping what you did. Start with sounds from the burbs (e.g., birds, kids playing outdoors, bell from a bicycle, ice cream truck), then go to sounds from the urban areas (e.g., traffic, idling cars, emergency vehicles, footsteps on busy sidewalks).
Good choice of actualities. They are a big help, not only because of who they are and the orgz they represent, but also because of how they are presented throughout the story. Collectively, they gradually paint the picture of how this new action will turn a quiet Litchfield neighborhood into a busy urban center like Trumbull Ave in Hartford.
I didn't see a link for the third item you wrote about. I'll check back now for it.
I can't find a link for the third either.
~Brianne
The third one's there! Sorry for delay! I made it in before 8pm, though...
jd
I think the reporter's tone and the actualities convey the feeling that immigrants are tired of trying to "do it the American way" and are losing interest in trying. While they picked up American flags,their oratory was in Spanish. Also, the counterprotestors seemed to sense a weakness that was not there lastyear.
In the census piece, the sound bite by the Litchfield first selectman makes me picture him scratching his head to figure out the ludicrousness of the reclassification. He validates what you narrate earlier and serves as the "nut graph," so he and the nature sounds definitely belong 2nd, juxtaposed to the city sounds first.
License story ran a bit longer than my attention span for it. I might have ended it after the woman who says it's crazy to make motor vehicle workers responsible for verifying IDs. Listened to it twice, not much else to cut, though, and Seymour's comments were interesting.
The story is compelling for those with no licenses! But, despite the attempts to raise the very real spectre of terrorism, it just doesn't affect the rest of us all that much. Just my take.
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