2008 Polls in 2007...how sure are we?

Here's a sample story that we're going to write into our "Writing for the Ear" newscast. It'll be the last story in a newscast that's full of Washington-based political and government news. We're going to include two soundbites that you gathered during the week, one to prove...and one to disprove this basic idea: Most voters have already made up their minds about who they'll vote for in the next Presidential election. Here's the basic print story you can use to write around:

Recent national polls pitting Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton against Republican leader Rudolph Guiliani have Clinton leading by between 2 and 7 points. When asked to choose between those two, only 3 to 5 percent pick another candidate, and less than 10 percent say they are unsure.

So, given that story - let's insert some soundbites from our interview subjects. Say who they are, and where they're from, and whether they've made up their minds. Say who they're voting for...or, if their unsure.

A few things about writing soundbites into a story: Let the tape say the interesting stuff, you can handle the rest. Get people saying something emotional, or controversial, or exciting. Don't use an a piece of tape to just roll off a series of numbers, or boring facts. And, don't let the tape say the same thing you're saying in your copy. Some examples....good:

John Doe from Hamden is a lifelong Republican, but he said he made up his mind weeks ago

Doe: "I'm voting for Hillary. I'm just sick of the war, and Bush, and I think she's the best one to get us out."

Here's a bad example:

John Doe from Hamden says he knows who he's voting for - Hillary Clinton.

Doe: "I'm voting for Hillary."

You see the difference. The first example uses tape to help tell the story...the second example just sticks it in to no effect. Oh, and that format works pretty well. Identify your soundbite, then write it out in quotes.

Newscasts...and the common errors that plague them

In our "Writing for the Ear" class, we've only just started writing newscasts, and some of the most common broadcast writing problems are cropping up...but that's okay, because most of these same problems appear in almost every newscast on radio. Here's a little sampling of things I found:

1. Punctuation: Sure, it's for broadcast, not print. But that doesn't mean punctuation isn't important. In fact, it might be more important. Emphasis and pacing matter when reading...so, "On the anniversary of the September eleventh attacks memorials were held..." is read differently than "On the anniversary of the September eleventh attacks, memorials were held..."

2. Spell it out: Here's one thing that is different than the AP print stylebook. You've got to write out words "September" not "Sept." Or, in a story about gas prices, "Two-seventy-seven" not "$2.77." "Triple-A" not "AAA." Imagine getting to that part of a script, and having to figure out how to say something...

3. Conversational writing can't be confusing. Some case studies:

"The names of victims could be heard from speakers that piped in the sound from the stone plaza where they were being read."

"The weather mixed in with the emotions of the memorial with tears streaming down many faces in remembrance."

"Bush does seem intent on placing conditions on reductions, insisting that conditions on the ground must warrant cuts and that now-unforseen events could change the plan."

In cases like this, the writer has violated multiple rules of broadcast writing. Sentences are too long, and they're using unnecessary words. Read these out loud to yourself or someone else...and you'll realize quickly what's wrong.

4. Tenses need to agree. "...attacks that killed nearly 3,000 people and impacting American's and the world forever." Well, there's a few problems there...the number should be spelled out...and "American's" doesn't have an apostrophe...but the tense is the real problem. Pick one for the story, and stick with it.

5. Attribution issues. We need to always be sure we're attributing statements to the right people...and that our opinion as newscasters doesn't come through. You might not mean to give your opinion...but some writing makes it sound that way: "His address to the nation is coming on the heels of Sept. 11th, which caused America to go into Iraq." Really?

"After hearing from Petraeus and Crocker, he has decided on a way forward that will reduce the U.S. Military presence but not abandon Iraq to chaos." The key thing missing here is..."he says." By saying "He says that he has decided..." it puts the statement in his mouth...not yours.

One more: "The setting of a park across the way failed to evoke the same emotions as years passed, leaving mourners dissatisfied." Turn it around, and it's "Mourners said the ceremony in the park failed to evoke the same emotions as years passed, leaving them dissatisfied."

6. Cut, trim, do away with words you don't need. "U.S. intelligence agencies are probing over bin Laden's...." becomes "U.S. intelligence agencies are probing bin Laden's...."

7. When we're writing for our own voice, we can't really read quotes. When we start using soundbites in our newscasts, direct quotes will become very important. But when we're writing for ourselves to read, they just sound wrong. Paraphrase quotes within "readers" in a newscast...and only very sparingly use quotes. For instance: "President Bush called it 'a day to mourn.'"

8. The active/passive thing. "Osama bin Laden's voice was heard..." or "Questions have been raised about..." Look, you can't always avoid the passive voice, but in cases like this it really matters. Find the person who's doing the acting (like Osama releasing a tape) and credit him with doing something. In the Cheshire story, lawmakers are raising questions. Not only does it make for more active writing...it helps you write shorter, and attribute news correctly.

WNPR reports on Tuesday's primaries

It's about a day later than I wanted, but I'm posting some of the audio from Tuesday's primary election. WNPR's Av Harris and Marie Kuhn reported live from Bridgeport, as State Senator Bill Finch beat State representitive Chris Caruso by a slim margain. As you can hear in this piece by Marie, Caruso isn't accepting the loss. Av's feature story took a larger look at the race - and includes comments from both campaigns.

Contrast these stories, obviously written for broadcast, with some Associated Press reports from that night.

We also talked with the Secretary of the State, Susan Bysiewicz on Where We Live. She told us the new optical scan voting machines worked well, and very few problems were reported.

The basic rules of broadcast writing

The world is filled with books about how to write...for print, for broadcast, and now for "new media." If you took everything I've read about writing for radio and television, and distilled it into a few simple rules, it'd be something like this:

1. Use short sentences. By breaking up long sentences into more manageable bites, reporters can get the point across more effectively. There's no chance of someone getting lost in a sentence, and failing to follow the main story points. It helps with pacing and rhythm, keeping listeners interested. Also, because so much of broadcast news writing is very condensed, short sentences allow you to easily restructure a story.

2. Be Conversational. The cliche (we'll deal with those later) is: "Tell a story like you're talking to your grandmother" or someone else in your family. That's the basic idea of conversational storytelling...but it's a bit simplistic. Obviously, newscasts are a more formalized style than sitting across the kitchen table...but the concept is the same. You're telling a story - not just reading words. Read your copy aloud to someone else...and you'll hear very quickly when you're not being conversational.

3. Use simple, powerful language. A broadcast news report is not the place to try out fancy words or obscure references. People only have one chance to hear your story...don't confuse them. Now, this doesn't mean you should communicate like a fifth grader. It does mean that you should always find the most direct, understandable, and descriptive language to convey your point.

4. Write in active, not passive language. Some people have trouble understanding active writing....here's a pretty simple example: "Somebody did something to someone else." That's in contrast to a passive construction, where "Somebody had something done to them by someone else." The problems with the passive? The sentence is longer by nature, violating a key rule. Also, there's a question over who the "actors" in the story are. Active writing helps us to establish attribution in the story very early on. Of course, as in all things, rules can be broken.

5. Get rid of unnecessary words. This is the editing process in action. Almost every news writer has to write fast and on deadline...and must meet strict story lengths. So, after you've written a nice news story, read it aloud - and start to pull out the words that don't need to be there. The extra adjective that isn't really descriptive; the redundancies; the long-winded titles of public officials; everything that doesn't serve the listener in understanding the story.

6. Avoid cliche. They're everywhere. You can't get away from cliches, especially when you're writing the news. Luckily, if you're following some of the other rules, you don't have to worry about using cliches. A "firestorm of controversy" isn't conversational...so don't use it. Calling people "inner city youth" isn't direct or descriptive - it's a cliche...so find a simpler way to say what you mean. Sometimes you can't avoid them...but I try to avoid cliches "like the plague."

Note: The links in this post are all taken from stories on poynter.org. Poynter is a great resource for journalists of all types. Click on the links, and you'll find yourself in some very interesting discussions of writing, journalism, ethics and broadcasting.

Let's get the terminology straight...

One of the big things that makes broadcast news so mysterious is the terminology. If you don't work in the business, it's pretty hard to know what people are talking about when they say things like "copy" or "vo-sot." So, as we get underway on our writing class for this Fall, a good explanation of the terminology could be very helpful.

A newscast could be a lot of things...five minutes of headlines read by a radio reporter at 6 a.m. or maybe a full, half-hour television broadcast, complete with weather and sports. For our purposes, a newscast is: The framework within which we place stories.

Those stories take a number of forms...

There's the reader. That's when the newscaster reads news copy (otherwise known as a script) directly to listeners. It's news that he has written himself, and doesn't include any additional outside sound. Many radio stations provide newscasts that are little more than a series of readers, strung together taken from wire service copy. It might look something like this:

The state Supreme Court ordered a new sentence today for a man convicted of shooting a New Haven police officer. The high court unanimously upheld the conviction of Arnold Bell, but found part of a law giving him a stiffer sentence as a persistent dangerous offender unconstitutional.

Then, there's the scripter. That's when the newscaster reads copy, and inserts a soundbite into the the story. Of course, there's a million ways to refer to the soundbite, like: cut, bite, clip, sound on tape (or SOT), tape (that's pretty old-fashioned), audio, and probably a few I'll forget. Here's the same story, written as a scripter:

The state Supreme Court ordered a new sentence today for a man convicted of shooting a New Haven police officer. The high court unanimously upheld the conviction of Arnold Bell, but found part of a law giving him a stiffer sentence as a persistent dangerous offender unconstitutional. Bell's attorney, Joe Blow said the ruling was a victory:

Bell :12 "...will be vindicated."

Bell was convicted of shooting officer Jane Smith in 2001.

Another name for the scripter is the donut...and it's easy to see why. There's some stuff...then a hole where the soundbite goes, then more stuff. Many TV stations (they call them VO-SOTs, or voiceovers with sound on tape...catchy, no?), and some radio stations dispense with the second bit of "stuff" and just move on to the next story.

A more complex version of the scripter is the wrap, which is also called a spot or a package. Basically, it's the same idea, but a reporter is delivering the story...not a newscaster. What the newscaster (or anchor...or host...to give you two more terms) reads is a host intro...or host lead. This is written by the reporter, and given to the newscaster as a way to introduce the story. It will almost always include the important news the story is about to tell. A good host intro is something like this:

Connecticut Senator and Democratic presidential hopeful Chris Dodd campaigned in New Hampshire today, fresh off his endorsement by the nation's largest firefighter union. WNPR's Av Harris reports.

Then, the story begins, with the reporter's pre-recorded voice, and a soundbite included. At the end, the reporter signs off. Something called an SOQ (standard outcue). It's pronounced "sock" and goes something like this:

For WNPR News, I'm Av Harris in Manchester New Hampshire.

A simpler version of a reporter-delivered story is the voicer. This has all the same elements...but the soundbite is left out. Thus, just the voice...a voicer.

At the end of the spectrum, we have the most complex type of story...the feature. It's really just a wrap...but with more soundbites from multiple voices. It's longer, so there can be more background information, and even scenes...where sound can be used to tell the story. The feature is complex enough that we'll spend a lot more time talking about it later.

Typical August story

I stumbled across this piece on NPR the other day. I'd love to get your reaction. It's a perfect example of the type of story that plays in August...but not in months when there's more news happening.